mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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