dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Everyone says I win the strip club
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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