Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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