Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
