Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
