you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
