Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
