Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
