Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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