Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
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