dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
