Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
