we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
