why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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