Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
