I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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