yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
