So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
