Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
