Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
