we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
