i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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