Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
