i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Rumble strips road head = magical
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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