i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
