I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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