wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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