he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
