im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
