You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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