her vagina looked like bernie madoff
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
