Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
