it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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