Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
