so explain again why im purple
no
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
