You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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