is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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