this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
