there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
