Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
we made out on top of his cat.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
did you just send me my own nude
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
i out mim tonsoeep
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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