exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
