I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
