dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
