So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
