I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Text me some of your sweat
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize