If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
