Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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