this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
