At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
