do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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