Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
