these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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