Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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