Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize