And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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