Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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