you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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