ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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