This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
my poor anus
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize