Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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